Let me be there when you fall
by Vickysg1
Summary: She wanted to be here for him, just like he was here for her. Part 8 in my "Through the Years" series.


Disclaimer: I own neither the show nor the characters. I don't earn any money; I just do it for fun.  
Author's Note: Written for my Sparktober Bingo Card #8 "Critical Mass". It follows up the fics I've started to write for the same Bingo Card and that you can find here. Happy Sparktober! And thanks to my beta reader silecet!

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It was late, but Elizabeth couldn't sleep. She _didn't want_ to sleep.

As she stood on the balcony, the events of the day keep replaying in her head. She couldn't close her eyes without seeing her people working frantically to save Atlantis. And while they did save their City, she knew that she had lost part of herself today. A part of herself that she would never be able to get back.

She heard the door open and close behind her. She didn't turn around; she knew that, on this particular night, only one person would seek her out. She wouldn't have been surprised if Chuck was at his station, preventing anyone else to disturb her. But John, he wouldn't stop, not because he was his superior, but because he knew she would welcome his presence.

John walked to the railing and stopped right beside her, their shoulders not quite touching. She heard him take a deep breath and realised that today had been hard on him too. Even though he kept it for himself, John had been as affected by the day's events as she had been. But he hadn't mentioned it, choosing to place her well-being before his own. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but, each time, she was surprised by how selfless John could be.

She had almost always tried to return his gesture, but he had always refused it, saying that he was fine, even though they both knew that it was a lie. She had never pushed, having understood early on that they were the same and that, just like her, he would close off if she tried.

Tonight, though, she wanted it to be different. She wanted him to understand that he could – and should – draw comfort from her, just like she did from him. Tonight, more than any other nights, she needed this reciprocity. Maybe she was being a little selfish, because she knew she would do this for herself just as much as for him, but today, they had almost lost everything, including their own lives. Tonight, she just wouldn't – couldn't – take no for an answer.

Even so Elizabeth knew John, and she knew that she shouldn't rush him. If she wanted him to open up, she needed to take things slow. She guessed that this was where her training as a diplomat would come to use.

The first small step she took was to put her hand on John's on the railing. She could feel him tense slightly beside her, before he relaxed once more. When he turned his hand to link their fingers, she took it as a small victory. If she had learned one thing about John Sheppard in the past year, it was that he was uncomfortable with someone touching him, so him taking the second step gave Elizabeth hope that tonight, he would be willing to open up.

Turning her head to look at him, she squeezed his hand. His eyes met hers and she could see that he was past tired, just like she was, but unable to shut down. She opened her mouth to speak, but he was ahead of her.

"I'm fine," he said, lying once again.

"No, you're not. And neither am I. And after a day like this, I would be worried if we were."

"Elizabeth…"

"John, please," she interrupted him before he could go any further. "Let me do this, let me be here for you."

She could see in his eyes that he was hesitating. She had learned to read him, to the point where, most of the time, they didn't need words to communicate, and right now, she knew that, if she made the right move, he would finally let go.

She didn't think much when she let go of his hand to wrap her arms around his neck, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. Much like their first – and only until tonight – hug, John tensed at first. For a second, she was worried that it was the wrong move, and that he was going to push away. But then, he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, tighter than he did the time before, tighter than anyone had ever hugged her.

She let her eyes close and took comfort in being in his arms, hoping that he was doing the same.

She didn't know how long they stayed like this; it could have been a minute like it could have been an hour. The only thing she was aware of was her body starting to relax. She was slowly letting go of all the tension of the day, and she wasn't the only one. Under her hands, she could feel John's shoulders drop slightly with each breath he took. She smiled a little, happy that he was finally allowing her to help him.

A yawn escaped her before she could stop it, and John slowly pulled away. He kept his hands on her arms as he looked at her, a knowing smile on his face.

"I think someone needs to get some sleep."

"I'm not tired," Elizabeth protested, not willing to let the moment go, before a second yawn betrayed her.

John raised an eyebrow, in a perfect imitation of her face when she wasn't convinced by one of his ideas. She held his stare, but had to admit defeat when she yawned for a third time.

"Come on, let's get you back to your quarters."

He let go of her arms, and put a hand to the small of her back to lead her towards the doors. She had to quell her disappointment when his hand fell away once they were inside and in view of the night crew.

When they were standing in front of her quarters, her door opened, she turned towards him.

"We'll be fine," he said before she even had the chance to open her mouth.

"We will. Thank you, John," she added.

She wasn't really sure what she was thanking him for, whether it was for offering her comfort when she needed it, or for allowing her to comfort him. Probably both.

She smiled at him before turning away and walking inside her quarters.

"Good night, John," she said, her hand hovering over the door sensor.

"Good night, Elizabeth." He paused, and she was about to close the door when he continued. "And thank you."

He didn't wait for her to reply – there was nothing she could have said, really – and walked away towards his own quarters. She let the door close and released a sigh.

It had been a long and tiring day, one that she wouldn't be able to forget anytime soon. But now that it was reaching an end, she was certain that good memories would outnumber the bad ones whenever she thought about it.

Fin


End file.
